So, alot of you know that my life has changed quite dramatically over the last couple of years. And although I love this new crazy life with my sweet girls, lately I've been doing some self-reflecting.
I now completely forget the names of people I have met a few times. Not only that, but I have even called people by a totally different name. (I never used to do this before and it is sooo embarrassing!) I've noticed that I tend to interrupt others more or share my own experiences. I don't mean to sound like I am trying to one-up others, but I think I may come off that way. Also, I let other insignificant things that people say or do bug me...stupid things that I never even used to notice. I whine and complain more than I used to and well, it's weird to realize just how much these children have changed me.
While in some ways being a mother of three little ones has made me a better person. I fear that I am now a worse friend. I used to be a better listener. I used to serve others more. I used to be more reserved about sharing my own trials. I used to notice the goodness in others more and hand out compliments more freely. I used to be more perceptive and observant of others feelings, but lately, I fear I have become as Brian Regan calls it somewhat of a 'me monster.'
To those of you reading this that have conversed and/or associated with me over the last couple of years. I wanted to say sorry (you know who you are) and thank you for putting up with me. Here's to hoping that the recognition of this will help me strive to be better.
I also started blogging a couple of years ago...hmmm, maybe I should just blame my self-absorbedness (is that a word?) to the inherent nature of blogging and not on the little ones. They are too darn cute to blame.
Thanks Darlene for letting me borrow this jumperoo thing. Sage absolutely loves it!
6 comments:
you are one of the nicest people i know. and even though we haven't chatted in a while i can't believe what you are telling me~
what you have been through, what anyone has been through is better when it's shared and when a burden can be lightened, for the carrier or the listener, then everyone is better for it! SHARE SHARE! that's how we women make it through.... knowing we aren't the only ones who struggle, and seeing someone else who has made it through the struggle and come out on the other side~
I think you are awesome. don't think otherwise~
As much as I know you are still the same sweet person you always were, you are right that motherhood does change us. I used to send birthday cards to EVERYone. Wear makeup. Plan candlelit dinners. Sleep. It was nice, and I miss that. But there is a season for everything in our lives. Right now we are living for these little rugrats, and that's about it! But someday we will get those pieces of ourselves back.
Sarie, I love you and having seen so many seasons of your life, I can only say that you continue to amaze me. Life happens and we weave our life stories and develop with each and every experience. You are now in the "trenches" of motherhood and it is non-stop, 24 hours a day. The girls are beautiful, healthy, and happy thanks to you and German. I've seen the work and effort you put in on their behalf. You are serving your family and you are doing wonderfully. I get tired just thinking about it. You are a caring and reflective individual and you recognize your strengths and weaknessness. Please know that I and I am sure others, love you because of who you are, the whole package. I know that is how I have always felt. I loved you when you said, "You hate me" when you said "You care" when you wrapped your arms tightly around me when you came home from Mongolia, and when you wanted to wear flip-flops on your wedding day. Sarie, we all wish we could be more than we are and we all are well aware of when and where we fall short. As the saying goes, "If only we could see ourselves as Heavenly Father sees us." I know you get frustrated with me sometimes, but I am the whole package too; I am a work in progress. Anyway, blah-blah-blah, love you Bera and I am always here for you!
Mom XXOO
Oh! I love it when we are all real on our blogs and share what is going on inside of us!! Sara, I totally relate to this. I understand that the stress and busy-ness and exhaustion does change us to some degree. I have said to friends and even to William---"really, I'm not this person but I have to be right now!". I sometimes feel like I'm being a martyr...I could go on. Sigh. I dont' have any good advice but can I just thank you for your humility and honesty? Self reflection rocks! I think you are amazing and I would never think of you as a me-monster. Let's keep thinking about a "solution" though so you can feel more peace!
Sara!me siento muy identificada con lo que escribiste! Cuando visitaron argentina con German todo era stress y preocupacion para mi con Mile 3 anitos, embarazada, Felix y sus responsabilidades y mi mala salud, pudiste conocer mi me mosnter ahÃ! Y muchas veces me he sentido mal pensando en esa mala impresion que debi haber causado, aun asi quizas hoy podes entender mejor el stress de los hijos y sus consecuencias... Deseo mucho verlos de nuevo y poder disfrutar mas con uds un dia!!! Te quiero hija!! Clau
i think i have changed since i've gotten married! i get really urked by very small insignificant things other people do too!
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